I’m back. For the time being. Cardiff is an absolutely fantastic city. I will be making a podcast on the things that happened and talk a bit about the Welsh way of life. Here are some pics till I’ll go a bit more into confusing thoughts below. ;) More pictures can of course be found on naischtnotz.
I’m a carnivore ;)
I would just have wanted to immediately buy one of those houses…
Zebra crossings really were something exotic, Cardiff has almost no actual zebra crossings. So, although Cardiff is an absolutely fantastic town, I admit I felt a bit weird at the beginning. I’ve been wanting to visit Wales for years, and now really going there – not as an actual tourist, but as a prospective student – was peculiar.
A few months ago, I said that I will try it again, becoming conscious of everyone who’s standing around me. Being in a different country and culture now would have been a great opportunity, but I didn’t do it (though I guess the result was the same). When I walked through the city, I suddenly realized how unimportant a single human is. Do not get me wrong, this is not misanthropist (although I sometimes feel as one), but it just showed me how little my worries are. I was of course always conscious that there are thousands and thousands of people on this planet who have greater worries than I have, but actually leaving this continent somehow helped me in realizing it. No, they are not poor in Cardiff, it’s actually one of the most expensive cities, the price for living space is close to that of Munich.
In every corner of the world, people live their lifes and have dreams and fears, who am I to self-pity myself for a sorrow that cannot possibly be greater? I’m not alone and I’m certainly not the only one to have such feelings of despair every once in a while. When I think back about the life is beautiful post, I guess I’m on the road to recovery.
Does this post hold water? I have no idea. Probably it’s just as without rhyme or reason as the thoughts turning round in my head. You want some more insight into a chaotic mind? Here’s a poem I wrote this weekend:
An eternity of ocean in between
A thousand miles of time splitting apart.
Through a mirror showing a distant point,
With a bit of piano music and some guitars,
I hear the saxophone playing on the other side.
An ancient telephone and a high-end router
Not being able to take me anywhere near
A switched on light behind closed curtains
That keep the burning crack of dawn outside.
A small piece of paper showing a date and place:
It’s now, it’s not here.
Some shy beauty hiding nether black rings
Smilingly vanished to where nobody knows,
To a wish searching that yesteryear’s silence
Wrapped up in the longing to stay here maybe.
Caught in the middle of, kept on the wooden floor –
I will be settled and nothing might ever have been.