You’ve met him, haven’t you? He’s a nice guy. A nice guy with a shotgun. // Ech sin virun allem komesch, ‘t ass méi daat. // I bet I’m really sexy right now. // Edinburgh?! Yuk, that sounds like it’s in Scotland… // Fir falls de erem Zitater sammels… // Some universities write you such a nice letter that you’re thinking: “Yes! I’m in!” And then in the last line it says something like “Unfortunately…”. // He’s so patriotic. I bet as a child he was always left alone and then one day he looked down on the floor and shouted: “Wales!” // The UK… That’s a country only on paper. In the hearts of Welsh people, Scottish and Irish are foreigners, and especially the English. // Da soen ech dir dat selwecht wéi dem Leti: Du bass langweileg an onintressant! // I thought: “I saw this poem before, and heard those questions before.” And then suddenly it dawned on me: we workshopped the piece last year. And the teacher was making the very same comments about it! // I’ll say: “Grrrrr! Can I have a place on the MPhil, please?” // When he said the guy has been replaced by a computer I thought he meant a mean accountant, but it’s actually a real computer! // I’m gonna train the dog to kill you.